Finding Meaning in the Face of Verbal Abuse

Finding Meaning in the Face of Verbal Abuse

Finding Meaning in the Face of Verbal Abuse

If you’re living with a verbally abusive partner, I want to begin by saying this: I see you. I hear you. And you are not alone.

Verbal abuse can feel like it erodes your very sense of self. The words, the tone, the unpredictability—it all adds up, chipping away at your confidence and making you question your own reality. But here’s what I want you to hold onto: No matter what anyone says to you, you are still whole, worthy, and capable of reclaiming your sense of dignity and inner peace.

 

Your Power to Choose Your Response

In Man’s Search for Meaning, Viktor Frankl taught that while we cannot always change our circumstances, we can choose how we respond to them. That may feel impossible right now, especially if you’ve been enduring years of verbal attacks, but I promise you—it is possible.

When your partner (or adult child) hurls cruel words at you, their goal might be to make you react, to draw you into the chaos. But you have a choice. Instead of reacting impulsively, take a deep breath and remind yourself: I am more than these words. I do not have to accept this narrative about myself.

Try this:

 

Finding Meaning in the Pain

Frankl believed that suffering, while painful, can be transformed into meaning. I know that sounds difficult—maybe even unfair. But if you’ve been surviving in an emotionally toxic environment, your resilience is already extraordinary.

Here’s how you might begin to reclaim meaning from your experience:

  • Recognise your strength: Every day that you endure, you prove your strength. But endurance is not the same as living. You deserve more than just survival.
  • Use your story to help others: When you’re ready, your experiences may help others who feel trapped. Sometimes, our greatest wounds lead to our greatest purpose.

 

Your Dignity is Yours—No One Can Take It

No matter what has been said to you, no one has the power to take away your dignity—only you can surrender it. And I want you to hold onto it fiercely.

  • If you feel safe doing so, set a firm boundary: “I will not allow you to speak to me that way.”
  • If confrontation isn’t an option, remind yourself internally: “I deserve to be spoken to with kindness, even if they can’t provide that.”
  • Refuse to believe their words as truth—their anger and pain—it belongs to them, not you.

 

Looking Beyond This Moment

When you’re in the middle of emotional turmoil, it’s easy to believe this is all there is. Nothing will change. But I want you to take a moment and imagine: What if there is more for me?

  • What kind of life do you want to create for yourself? Not just escaping pain but moving toward something better.
  • What small steps can you take now? Maybe it’s reaching out to a support group, reading books that remind you of your worth, or finding a safe place to express yourself.

 

You Are Not Alone

Frankl endured profound isolation, but even in the darkest times, he emphasised the importance of connection. Even if your partner has isolated you, you do not have to do this alone.

  • Find a trusted friend, therapist, or support group—even if it’s online.
  • Look for voices that uplift you—books, podcasts, and communities that remind you of your worth.
  • Remind yourself that there are people who understand and care—because I promise there are.
  • If you are looking for a supportive community of individuals who are in a similar place as you, why not join my FREE Facebook group ‘Rebuild Your Life

 

Rewriting Your Story

Verbal abuse can make you feel like a victim. But you are so much more than what has been said to you.

  • You are surviving, and that takes incredible strength.
  • You can make choices that honour your worth.
  • You are deserving of a life filled with respect and peace.

You may not be able to change your partner, but you can change how you see yourself. And that shift? It’s the beginning of everything.

You are not what they say you are. You are who you decide to be.